Evolution

As I spoke with several of my coaches and peers at the beginning of this year, I kept bumping into the realization that I was scared. Scared to step into the unknown, scared to take a risk, scared of getting things wrong. It kept me from trying new things with my business, from launching simple experiments, from asking people to let me practice and refine my coaching skills with them.

I went so far as to hang up a sign in my office encouraging me in big bold letters to: DO IT SCARED ⚡

Somewhere along the way, I had turned a corner without noticing.

It's now been nine months, and this same same fear doesn't loom quite so large. The fear isn't entirely gone, but I've had enough successful experiments where nobody died and the world didn't end that the skittish, timid voice in my head has quieted down. It still urges me to be careful, and to be thoughtful about what I'm trying, but it seems somewhat reassured that the ship isn't being driven towards certain disaster by a careless lunatic.

Fear is no longer my biggest obstacle. The mantra I needed in February, "Do it scared," hasn't served me for a while, and that's thrilling to realize.

I noticed that another mantra had taken its place over the last several months:
JUST LISTEN AND BE. 🐝

I found this one useful when I've not been sure what to do or how to proceed. When interacting with people as a doula and coach, what's been most directive is to let this way of being drive my actions. It's a shorthand for a longer piece of advice I had heard on a doula peer mentoring call:

You don't have to KNOW anything. You don't have to SOLVE anything. You just have to LISTEN and BE.

The beauty is that this approach applies to both both coaching and doula-ing. It speaks to the fact that a large part of the work involves companioning people and bearing witness to their experience. It also recognizes that the people I work with have the capabilities to solve their own problems. They don't need me for that; I'm a caring partner who commits to supporting them and one who knows some things that might help along the way. The mantra has helped me shift my focus from the problem solving and teaching that has underpinned much of my design work and it has helped me get out of the way.

Now, I'm taking another small, quietly bold step. I've always wanted to share my thoughts with a wider audience, but could always find reasons not to.

A mantra that's been emerging for me now is:
MOVE TOWARDS RESONANCE. 🎶

I've been told that people want to hear what I have to say, and I've finally heard it enough times that I'm starting to believe it. Moving towards resonance in this moment looks like speaking up rather than staying quiet, so my hope is that I'll be posting more.

Consider giving one of the mantras I've shared with you a try and see what emerges.

How have mantras served you? Which mantras have you used in your life?