Resources

Have you completed your Advance Healthcare Directive?

There are many Advance Healthcare Directive forms that might work in your state:
—If you haven't filled one out, fivewishes.org is a great place to start.
—If you're in California, an easy place to start is: prepareforyourcare.org (Five Wishes also works in CA)

While it might feel dismal to think about these things, we don’t get a say in when life might go sideways. If a health crises were to happen, having your preferences documented and shared takes the pressure off of the people in your life to have to make tough decisions for you in an already stressful time. Think of it as a gift to them, and also to yourself.

*In CA, the form must be signed by two qualified witnesses or acknowledged by a notary public. Make sure someone close to you knows where to find the signed and completed form. Give a copy to your doctor, to any other healthcare providers you may have, and to any healthcare agents you have named. (A health care agent is a fancy term for the person who will speak on your behalf. It should be someone you trust, but can't be your doc and shouldn't be close family.)

Are you single and worried about who will care for you at the end?

My friend Nikki the Death Doula created an awesome guide to help people who might be wondering how to approach End-of-Life planning when they can’t plan on a partner or adult kids to jump in. Seriously, I bought one—it’s so good! Here’s a link: No Family, No Problem: End of Life Planning for Single Folks - I love her tone and sense of humor, and she’s super knowledgeable. Buy one of her guides!

Are you going through a rough time?

There’s a company called Help Texts that sends you ongoing, expert text message support for grief, burnout, and coping with a terminal diagnosis. If you know someone going through a hard time, you can gift them a year of Help Texts.

Are you supporting someone who is dying?

I can’t say enough good things about Barbara Karnes’ guides. She is a seasoned hospice nurse and has made a number of small, accessible, and affordable pamphlets covering everything from signs and symptoms of an approaching death, to dementia and end of life, to navigating food and feeding at end of life, and more. She also covers pet loss and other topics like pain and pain management at the end of life. I’ve bough many, many of her guides for myself and I’ve gifted them to others. In fact, I gave a bunch of her Spanish-language guides to my grandfather’s caregivers while he was in hospice and they LOVED them. They’re offered in many languages. Check them out and support this amazing resource. In particular, I recommend:
Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience
The Eleventh Hour: A Caring Guideline for the Hours to Minutes Before Death
Always Offer, Never Force: Food at the End of Life